Don't you mean cryogenics?
Cryogenics is a term used by physicists to describe the study of matter at very low temperatures. Cryonics is the science of placing humans in bio-stasis in order to revive them in the future. Totally different.
What's this about cutting off my head? Don't you freeze people's entire bodies? That's what they do in the movies.
We offer our clients the choice of cranial or full-body preservation. However, we strongly recommend the cranial option. Restoring a naturally-aged body to a healthy state would require a significant number of medical interventions, probably including multiple organ replacement, and it will just never look that great. However, a head can be transplanted onto a young, healthy body. Personality and memory are fully preserved through brain integrity, and it leaves you looking and feeling terrific.
Do we know for sure that this will work? Has it been done successfully?
Yes! Well, no. We have succeeded in removing the heads of many, many people and have placed them in our freezers. We have not to date succeeded in reviving anyone. However, we are constantly advancing in our efforts towards this small, final step, and it's one of our top research priorities. Once you have entered our facility, your loved ones can register their emails with us to be notified of any progress towards this goal.
How much does it cost?
It's free. In strictly dollar terms, it costs quite a lot, but there is no actual cost to the patient since the fee is entirely payable through life insurance. We have put in place a process that allows you to sign your policy over to us, and we deduct our fee from the pay-out when you enter cryonic stasis. Luckily (if somewhat inaccurately), cryonic patients are considered legally dead under North American law, so insurance companies will redeem the policy in full. The loss to your heirs is more than compensated by the prospect of having you with them again, alive, at some point in the future.
Are you going to bring back Walt Disney? I used to love Disney movies when I was a kid, and I've pretty much come to terms with his extreme political views.
Actually, Walt Disney was never placed in cryonic stasis. Before he died, someone from his company called the Cryonics Society of California and collected detailed information about the process, which suggests that he was interested in the technology. However, he did not specify anything in his will, and his family chose not to have him preserved. This was in 1966, so the success of the process would have been far from guaranteed in any case. We have come very far since then.